Painful to Let Go

When I got home from work today I felt exhausted. Even the Boss noticed how tired I was. After dinner, before doing my nightly kitchen clean-up we sat and watched a rerun of a hospital show. Now I've traded being tired for very sad memories and a bit of loneliness.

In the show a family had to make the decision to let the father pass. It was a very hard decision to allow a loved one to go, despite the heavy loss to the survivors. It's very difficult to over rule your own personal pain and selfishness, and think of the other.

I've been part of the same decision on 2 occasions concerning my mother and father. The Boss has been party to the same just once, her mother. It's excruciatingly painful to make that decision even when in your heart it's the right decision.

In the show, one son said that he doesn't know how to live in a world without his dad. I know exactly how he feels. My dad left a hole that can't be filled. On occasions I still talk to my dad, and I'd like to think he's still out there somewhere listening.

I strive to be half the husband, father and man that he was in this world.